Christmas

Christmas can be a wonderful time of year. A time for family, reunions with friends, for films and games and food and drink. It is also exhausting, balancing time for friends and family against an adequate night’s sleep and some time for yourself. And a time when social media can be the most unhelpful tool at reminding you what others have that you don’t, whether this money, objects, or even a family member. But it can also be a hard time, lonely for some, an expensive period (especially for those without a lot of disposable income), a time that loved ones are missed that little bit more.

So, I guess firstly, a reminder to be kind this Christmas. And that it’s okay to feel like an elf one day and the Grinch the next.

But as an eating disorder blog so I suppose that’s what I plan to ramble on about in a bit more detail. I love food, I really do. And seasonal food is great. As are the drinks, I love eggnog and mulled wine and baileys hot chocolate. But Christmas is really hard. To try and explain how overwhelming Christmas can be, here are some common features of the Christmas period:

• Indulgence
• Overindulgence
• Eating with friends or family or colleagues 
• High calorie foods
• Other people preparing or serving your food
• Meals out
• Alcohol consumption
• Spontaneous food/drinks

Now what’s something you’re afraid of? Say it was spiders. Now on a good day, there’d be no spiders in sight. But on a bad day, every time you had to attend one of the above bullet points you would have to sit with spiders crawling all over you. Scary, huh? Almost makes you… not want to go?

It’s not just doing these things that can be scary though, it can also be people’s reactions to you or things around you. So, I thought I’d take this time to explain why phrases that may seem harmless can be harmful to someone with disordered eating or an eating disorder.

Standard Christmas chat	Why I want to roll my eyes
You’ve lost/gained weight.	Is it your business? Is that a compliment or an insult? If it’s a compliment, thanks.
I dread to think how many calories are in this.	Yeah, me neither so how about you don’t remind me?
I’m going to starve myself to eat as much as possible at Christmas dinner!	Good for you. But hearing about you starving yourself makes me very uncomfortable. It’s a reminder of damage I did starving myself, and of the slippery slope I could fall down if I tried that as a method of food management.
*They’ve* put a bit on since last year!	If you want to be constructive, say it to their face. If you aren’t being constructive then does it really need saying? It tells the people around you that they shouldn’t put weight on or they’ll be the one talked about next Christmas.
God, I’m *really* going to have to diet in January after this.	Are you implying that you need to diet because of the food you’re eating? If I’m eating this food too then do I also need to start dieting?
I suppose I’d better go for a run tomorrow to burn this off!	Food doesn’t need to be earned. Go for a run, great, enjoy it. But please don’t make yourself, or me, feel like we need to burn off calories eaten.
I really haven’t earned this pudding, but it’s Christmas	Again, food does not need to be earned. Can we shorten that to just “it’s Christmas” and enjoy our puddings?

If you struggle with food, remember:

• It’s okay to eat everything on your plate, and also not to do so
• Don’t set unrealistic standards for yourself (or others)
• It doesn’t help to worry in advance, so try your best not to
• Plan ahead if you need to
• Take some time to yourself on, or before or after, stressful situations
• To focus on Christmas being about the people, not just the food
• You can suggest non-food related social events
• There will be people who understand, find someone to talk to
• If you’re feeling down, probably try to keep off social media and the highlight reels of others’ lives
• You’re doing great. Food is good, so EAT and (try to) enjoy it!

Be kind to yourself and each other this Christmastime x